Sep 2006

Hey all
I have no funny stories about needing to go to the toilet and there not being one around I'm afraid. I, unlike other travellers, do not discuss my toilet habits online. Anywhere else is fine. Dinnertable, company meeting, Colin's Funeral etc etc..

Koh Phi Phi was a bit of a waste of dosh imo. The place is still a mess.
The 'street's are still strewn with rubbish and wood and bottles and the paths are pure mud after the Tsunami. It is sad because the scenery surrounding the island is amazing.

We hired a hut that was about a million steps up the mountain side. It had nothing except a great view. Twas tres expensive for the price too. But our 'hotel' area did have an infinity pool! Unfortunately the tide was constantly out so the view of hte infinity pool viewed out to the blank beach. tee hee hee

We only spent two days here due to the krappy weather. It was cloudy and never stopped raining. The weather was too krappy for Jim to do a dive too. (It would have been Barfneyland on the boat), so after a couple of days we decided to head to the East coast.
East coast of Thailand > West coast of Thailand.
East coast wins hands down.

So seeing as how we did little of interest and I'm writing this two weeks later and can't remember anything about it, here are some pics. he he

Well folks, back to Thailand – the land of smiles and sexy massages.
We were delighted to get cheapo mc cheap flights to Bangkok and then on to Phuket. We arrived in Phuket at about 12 at night to lashings of rain. We heh hehh hellllll..
But the weather wasn’t going to get us down in the dumps – no sirree bob. Once again we had wifi in the room, air con, and our own fancy balcony aswell as a fridge stocked full of beer and fizzy pop.

The next couple of weeks are a lazy blur. We got into the routine of doing absolutely feck all. We stayed up late, drank lots of beer and hit the beach. The weather was so-so at best – we had maybe 5 days of fantastic sunshine.

I got a terrible hair cut for about 4 quid. It was going fantastically and I thought I was going to be gorgeous until she pointed at my ‘fringe’ (eh I don’t have one) and started to chop. ARRRGGHH. Now I have a very ugly sixties style mop + fringe. Lol

We rented a moped and drove around the ‘island’ – I had a go at trying to drive it. My lack of ability to hold the yoke was my downfall I reckon.
On our way back one of the days we passed a whole load of monkeys on the side of the road going nuts and stopped off to have a look. Hella cool.

During the second week, there was a military coup up in Bangkok. The military took over from the government while the Thai PM was in the states. It was the most peaceful coup in history and no one was very bothered – including the Thais. The coup claimed to have the approval of the King and everyone loves the king, so all was well. Later we heard on the news that perhaps the Thai PM had had some warning as the rumour is he “sneaked a lot of riches” out of Thailand. He he

Then later in the week, I gave James a LegoMan haircut. Lol. It looks fine I told him, it just is a bit thick and sits on the back of his head like a Legoman’s hair.
It’ll grow out in a few days.

Not much to report – the usual goings on in a beach town. As a great man once said – “Lisa, There’s an Art to Doing Nothing.”

After a couple of weeks, (the time is flying), we decided to head to Koh Phi Phi for a couple of nights – so we can go a-snorkelling and Jimbob can do a dive on the World’s 3rd most beautiful island.

Hanoi pt 2

Back to Hanoi with no place to stay!. The bus driver said he would drop us off at an area with lots of affordable accommodation. And so he did. At first we thought - ah crap we are gonna have to walk about with our back packs looking for a decent place to stay. But ohhhhh no, not in nam. Within two seconds of jumping off the bus, we had two guys with hotel leaflets in our faces. We went with the guy who got to us first, a short walk later and we were there.
It was gorgeous, the same price ($10) per night as the previous dump but so much nicer. The room was great – satellite tv, fridge, hot water, FREE WIFI, free breakfast and it was spotless. So we took advantage off all of these amenities. So drinking, watching tv, eating out and ringing home took up the next two days.
We also decided to not bother going to Laos as out bank accounts were looking low plus the cost of even getting a visa for Laos was the same price as getting a FLIGHT back to Bangkok with airasia.com. We booked two flights with them, one to BK and one the same day to Phuket. Our last day in Hanoi we spent walking around the big lake that used to be inhabited with giant turtles (see pic on other Hanoy part)the last sighting was in 92. So after a relaxing couple of days in Hanoi we were off to the airport and on our way back to the land of smiles and sex tourism - AKA Thailand - lol.

James

Hanoi

We knew from the moment the bus pulled up in Hue that it was going to be a nightmare journey to Hanoy. We were obviously one of the last stops the bus had to make on its rounds of the guesthouses before it started the long journey. The bus was packed and we feared we might not get a seat together. Luckily for us a nice Japanese guy gave up his back seat corner of the bus to us and he sat down beside a Vietnamese guy. So we had the back corner two seats which at the time seemed pretty cool. One stop later and the back seat was full with three guys beside me and Lisa at the window.

About an hour into the trip the fecking back floor started to heat up…oops we forgot the back of the bus is where the engine is. :/
So the whole journey was quite sweaty. The aircon was working and providing some coolness until… The tit sitting at the opposite back window opened his window to let the air come in and cool him down. Which prob worked a treat for him but for the rest of the bus it was a warm air breeze gushing in and fecking up the AC. Anyway after a while the two lads nearest me got off at their stop, Lisa and I and the window opener had the whole back seat to ourselves.. nice. We got about 2 hours sleep in total due to A. the heat, B. the uncomfortable ness of it all and C. the crazy driving of EVERYONE on the roads in Vietnam.

Amazingly we arrived in one piece to Hanoi city around 6am, it was raining and the city was waking up. This is a great time to catch a glimpse of how Hanoians spend their mornings before work. Everyone was jogging around the lake, playing badminton on the streets, doing yoga, aerobics classes in parks and power walking about the place.

So as usual we went with the bus guy to their hotel in the old quarter of town. Usually these hotels are a safe bet but the one we got wasn’t the nicest place we had stayed in, but it wasn’t too bad, plus breakfast was included. We had a snooze before setting off on foot to explore. The street we stayed on was the pots and feckin pans street. The noise was feckin crazy…!!! plus there were bikes and cars flying everywhere around us. Very Hannoying!
Everyone kept asking us did we want a motorbike/cyclo tour of the city EVERY minute we were outside the hotel. But you get used to it after a while, and learn to just smile and say no thanks. Also crossing the road in Hanoi is very like Saigon.. head down, deep breath, start walking at steady pace, no slowing and usually you make it to the other side just narrowly avoiding losing a toe to a rouge motorcyclist. (or even Rogue)

We had a walk about checking out the big cathedral and searching for some food. After a frustrating time trying to find a place that was no longer there (curse u lonely planet) we went to a bar called the Funky Monkey (GAY BAR GAY BAR) for a couple of pints of beer and a chin wag with the very friendly barman. (I wonder why he was very friendly - says Lisa - the excitement at seeing big tall Jim he he)

Oh, before this we bumped into the Israeli guy and his Ozzy mrs we had shared a boat tour on the Mekong a few weeks before. They were going to Laos the following day and had already done the northern tour from Hanoi. We told them we had decided to do the Halong bay tour. We said goodbye and found a nice place next to the cathedral for some delish eats and one of those table cloths that you can write on with crayons they leave on the table. We drew all over it and took it with us.

The second day in Hanoi we avoided the tour girl in our place trying to get us to book with them and went for some much needed haircuts. Lisas took about 6 hours to get coloured and mine took about 5 minutes by a guy who sooo wasn’t interested and didn’t have a word of English so once more I got feck all off it although, the hair washing beforehand was great fun. Hair washed; head massaged, ears cleaned with long nails, face washed and hair washed again.

We spent the next day bumming around the old quarter and then went to watch the Liverpool game in the gay bar again but when one of the guys wouldn’t turn up the volume we fecked off to a small bar down the road with a much better atmosphere and cheaper beer. We went off and booked a tour to Ha long Bay for the next morning.

We checked out of Casa del Crappy and rushed our brekkie into us as the tour lady had come to collect us - way too early mind you! She collected a couple of other people and drove us to the slightly bigger bus that was to take us all the way to the bay.

After the end of the Vietnam war, and the advent of "Doi moi", Vietnam's policy of opening its economy to foreign trade, means that Westerners and South Vietnamese now have a chance to visit Ha long. Vinh Ha Long or Bay of the Descending Dragon is often touted by proud Vietnamese as the world's Eighth wonder. One of the main attractions of Ha long is the bay's calm water and the thousands of Limestone Mountains dotting the seascape. The Bay's water is clear during the spring and early summer. Some of the islands are quite large and there are small alcoves with sandy beaches where swimming is possible. Ha Long bay lies in the north-eastern part of Vietnam and is 165 Km from Hanoi.

It took us about 3 hours to get there with one stop off for some coffee. When we arrived we were put into a different goup than most of the people on the boat because we had booked the two-day tour, with one nights stay on the Island called Cat ba. So we were led into a restaurant by the water and told to sit on a table with 4 other people who were also on our tour. Our new tour friends were an English couple and two American guys - Scotty and Doug lol - very nice men from California. So after some friendly banter and nice lunch we set off to our boat.

The boat was nice, we got to sit up the top on plastic chairs so we could take in the view, and oh what a view it was. We tuk-tuked on the boat towards the limestone mountains for about 40minutes. Eventually we reached one big island where we disembarked and our guide brought us inside this huge cave area full of crazy stallactites and stallacmites and other crazy limestone features, lit up with coloured lights. The guide said some of them resembled animals or couples canoodling. Some of them did, but some of them just looked like melted blobs.

We were brought to a second huge cave and then back to the boat for the two hour journey to the Island we would stay the night on. This journey was soooo nice. So many islands, thousands of them scattered as far as the eye could see.. so beautiful. We docked at a lil port and drove to the main part of the island. Apparently we found out off the American guy (who has a Vietnamese wife and has done this trip a few times) we were meant to sail for longer and around the island to the main port, and not the port we docked at. Something to do with the weather meant we couldn’t make the journey all the way round, but we suspected it was due to the increasing gas costs.
The hotel we were to stay in was very nice, after being given two rooms that had yet to be cleaned (from the night before) they finally found us a clean one.

We relaxed in the room until it was dinner time. We all met in the hotel restaurant for some very tasty food and a beer. We were sitting with the Americans and a Japanese couple who were very funny. The Japanese guy seemed to eat quite a lot and the yanks kept making funny jokes about how hungry he was for a Japanese guy.
He had his eyes on the other tables' fish and the yanks grabbed it for him. They kept giving him more fish from the other tables that wasn’t eaten. Scottypops also made a funny joke about how for a Japanese guy, he sure has big eyes! Luckily we all laughed, there was nearly a Lolcano - sure it wasn’t in bad taste at all.

After dinner Doug and Scottypops suggested we go for a walk down to the port to try and get a lil night time tour on the water with some Vietnamese boat ladies. So after some bargaining we were off, Lisa and I in one boat and the yanks in the other. The ladies took us round by the fishing boats where Vietnamese guys shouted hello and offered us drinks. Then Doug decided he wanted to row his boat back himself, so we did the same. After mucho paddling round in circles and in the wrong direction, I finally got the hang of the rowing and got us back to the land… eventually.

We went for another beer with the two lads and it turned out the Scotty bloke was getting a bit drunk (3 SMALL DRINKS!) and getting a big louder (than normal) so we thought hmmm lets get back to the hotel. So we said night to the lads and off we went.

The next morning we all had breakfast together. Lisa and I went for our Vietnamese favourite - beef noodle soup. Then it was back on to the bus and to the port. We thought we were going on another cool trip but that was not the case…. Ffs. We were just being brought back to the bus again. What a crock! The boat we got on for the return journey was well nice, all wooden and fancy. There was a quick stop off at a fish farm to see some blue crabs, squid and various other fisheeseee. It was a beautiful day so many pictures were taken on the way back to the mainland.

Again we were back into the familiar restaurant for some lunch and a drink and then back on the bus for the return journey to Hanoi.

Jimbob

Hue

Hue was the capital of Vietnam, the feudal sovereignty, in 1744 when the Nguyen lords controlled all of southern Vietnam from the city. The city was severely damaged in the 1968 Tet offensive during the American war, when house-to-house fighting lasted for weeks.
Hue is divided between the older fortified Citadel, containing almost everything interesting, and the new, smaller sprawl that has developed across the river. This is where we were staying.

At the first hotel our bus stopped we had a look at and it looked very nice so we stayed there. Everything in Hue is within walking distance so we took a stroll to the Citadel after some lovely food and coffee. I was again VERY UNCOMFORTABLE due to the heat and I wasn't feeling very well and I was nearly going to go back to the hotel and leave Lisa to it, when we decided to jump in one of the many Cyclo tour drivers’ cyclos. (a guy with some seats attached to the front of his bike)
He was waffling and curb crawling beside us for ages until finally we gave in and took him up on his offer of a tour around the citadel. It turned out he was a very nice man, who was full of waffle about the citadel itself, how his father was killed during the war and how he hates violence etc.

He brought us up on top of a part of the citadel wall (which stretches for over 10km around the city and is about 5 meters thick) to a gun bunker thingy where the US troops would have kept lookout over the gates. Then we cycled to a few different places like temples and old buildings etc. AFterwards, he also read our palms. lol. He said I was very lucky because I have a star on my palm and that my dead relatives are always looking out for me and taking care of me. he he After reading Lisa’s he said she would have two children and they would suffer… lol how nice of him.

We finished up the tour and went on our merry way back to the hotel. Day two was spend lazing about nursing sunburn and drinking beers until we had to get the dreaded night bus to Hanoi … a gruelling 12 hours of hell awaited us.

Big Tall Jim

Hoi An

We got on the over night bus to Hoi An at around 6:30pm and after about an hour an a half of driving around it was filled up with westerners and mucho Vietnamese. There were lots of people trying to do the sit on the outside seat and put their bag on the inside seat, thus taking up the two seats and having more space to themselves. PIGS! Alas this doesn’t work in Vietnam, every seat possible is sold in advance and sometimes they even add a little plastic chair or two down the middle. So little by little peoples bag seats were begrudgingly removed and given to Vietnamese. EXCEPT for one big American pig. Wearing his Yale cap and t-shirt and a copy of Newsweek in his hand, he tried to look big and busy and not give away his seat. A Vietnamese guy wanted his wife to sit on the outside seat beside him. The Yank realised this guy was gonna ask him to move over so he says “No, look she’s sat down the back and she’s not movin, OK”. Ignorant bastard. Anyway he got his comeuppance when the bus drivers took turns sitting in beside him every few hours and a French guy in front demanded his right to put his seat back all the way into the yanks lap.. ahh sweet justice.

Anyway, the journey was uneventful bar some cool fork lightning, doggy bathroom stops and some near crashes. We awoke to an amazing sunrise over the rice paddies and villages on the way to Hoi An. After much pissing about with the bus driver stopping at all his friends hotels a couple of km from town, we found a nice place pretty central with a pool and free internet.

We caught some much needed Z’s and headed out to explore the town. The town was really cool. It was Vietnam’s important international seaport town from the 16th century to the late 19th century with merchants from both Asia and Europe trading all sorts of goods from spices to gold. Located on the bank of Thu Bon River 30 km south of Danang, Hoi An is a quiet riverside town dotted with temples, shrines and Chinese style tile-roofed wooden houses on long narrow roads. It's JAM-PACKED with tailors. You can walk into any shop on the street with a copy of GQ or a woman’s mag, point at a dress or suit and have it made exactly as it looks in the mag and to fit you perfectly within 24 hours. All for about 20 dollars or maybe a lil more.

The first thing on our list of things to do was as usual – EAT! So we went to a nice place by the market for some delish spring rolls and fantastic iced coffee with sweet milk. After much friendly harassment by a trinket seller called “Ciao“, we bought some coffee from her and she dragged us to her market stall to show us more trinkets. We promised we would return and buy some stuff the following day. She gave Lisa a fan for free, we bidded ciao ciao and off we went home.

We spent the next day walking about exploring, eating nice food on upper balconies over looking the small streets. Twas v nice. The third day we decided to do a tour to My Son, a World Heritage site, 40 km southwest of Hoi An. Located in a lush valley, My Son was a capital and religious centre of Cham people, now remaining with red brick towers and sanctuaries. My Son is considered to be in the same league as some of Southeast Asia's greatest archaeological sites, including Angkor in Cambodia, Bagan in Myanmar, Ayutthaya in Thailand and Borobudur in Indonesia. These towers and sanctuaries were built from the 7 to 13 centuries. It wasn’t nearly as spectacular as Angkor, mainly because the US bombed the shite out of it during the war and because I was feeling rather sorry for myself. It was about a million degrees out with sunshine and my sunburn was SOOOOOO ICHY! But I was really glad we went on the trip.

We also spent a day on the beach nearby which was very beautiful but FULL of people trying to sell you stuff. We gave in a few times for Lychees and for some more beads hehe. So with our tour, day at the beach and some boozing done we headed onwards on our happy tour open bus ticket to Hue.

James

On the first day in Nha Trang, Jimbob said to me – “lets go out and get some grub”
On the second day in Nha Trang, Jimbob said to me – “It’s pissing rain so lets go to the Internet Cafayyy”.
On the third day in Nha Trang, Jimbob said to me – “It’s still raining, let's treat ourselves to a mudbath."
On the fourth day in Nha Trang, Jimbob said to me – “The sun is shining, and the birds are singing, let’s go to the beach and drink some beerr”.
On the fifth day in Nha Trang, Jimbob said to me – “I’m SUNBURNTTTT, and my body hurts, and I’m tired, let’s stayyy in and work on a musical tracccckk”.
On the sixth day in Nha Trang, Jimbob said to me – “We’ve seen the beach, I GOT SUNBURNTTT, we had a mudbath and did the blog and saw the sights now lets get the feck outtt of Nhaaa Trannnnggggg”.

Ps. The mudbath was brill.
Pss. The beach was gorgeous and had the comfiest beach lounging chairs ever.
Psss. Whenever we turned on the light in our room, trunty million flies appeared by the light. When the light went off, they went away.. weirrrrddd..d
Pssss - i realise that the above song is krap.