New Zealand

The next day we bid adieu to the golden girl lookalike and trudged on downtown to the Bluebridge Ferry Terminal to get the ferry to Picton in the south island. It was a lovely day and we had a few hours to kill so we hopped onto the Wellington Cable car for a quick spin to see some fantastic views of the city and harbour area.

The ferry itself was humoungous and had a cool lounge room showing movies and a big observation deck up on top. We ate lunch outside and took in the fantastic scenery until it got a bit too cold for Jimbob shortpants. We stocked up on tea and watched ‘Finding Nemo’ in the movie lounge. It was cool. We got to Picton and checked into one of the coolest hostels ever. It was called Atlantis Backpackers and had a huge kitchen and a big TV room. All the bedrooms & dorms were also decorated with fish & sea munsters. Quality hostel. We nosied around the picturesque Picton and then whipped up a fabulous hostel dinner of pasta, veg & sauce (it don’t get more exciting than hostel food I tell thee). He he. We watched a movie in the room with trunty other scruffians and drank some wine.

Well here we met the second rudest person in NZ. The auld dear who ran the hostel was NOT pleased at being woken up before 8 on a Sunday and told us right off. The feckin ad for the hostel said ‘will make you feel right at home’ … Yeah feckin right. She was a right old bag and answered the door in a long green nightie down to the ground. Think the oldest dear in golden girls and that’s her. So she told us that we weren’t allowed check in til 8 and sent us off back out – in the f*ckin rain!! What a bag!! So we hobbled off to find a McDonalds (I know, I know – who in their right mind goes actively looking for a McDonalds – this is the second time since we’ve been away).

We didn’t have the dosh for anything more exciting. NZ is tres expensive. So we had our egg mcmuffin sandwiches and went back to bash on yer woman’s door. She was a lot more pleasant when she was dressed but we didn’t hang around to exchange pleasantries. We had a shower and went off to take in the sights of Wellington.

We went to the city art gallery to see this really interesting exhibition by Patricia Picinini – a Oz artist who creates some really weird creatures (and wonders aloud if they haven’t already been created). It was a cool exhibition and afterwards we went to a NZ brewery along the waterfront for a pint ((t had finally stopped raining). Then we went to the Te Papa museum – one of NZ’s best museums. It was fairly busy and pretty interesting, but at this stage, it was information overload and we had to go get some food. We went for some pretty decent grub and then headed back to our hostel, with the intention of perhaps heading out later. Yeah right. He he. We watched Jarhead on DVD and then fell asleep. Overnight buses knock the socks off ye.

Well we arrived in Rotorua at aboot 1pm. It was only a stopover as we wanted to head straight to Wellington so we could hit the south island. We would investigate Rotorua further in a couple of weeks (We rearranged our schedule according to when Danny Howells was playing Auckland) Like FFs. Lol. Anywho, it was pissing out of the heavens in Rotorua – and I mean absolutely fecking lashing. I had lost my rain jacket and we had no brolly. So seeing as how we were already soaked, we wandered around in the rain and then went to the Polynesian Spas – outdoor hot spring pools that reach temperatures of 42 degrees Celsius. The hot water was refreshing – and surprisingly the smell of sulpher that permeated the rest of the town was not as bad actually in the springs. The place had trunty million asian tourists there – I was the only white girl in the dressing room, and let me ad ‘modest’ to that. Everyone else had their bums out. He he.

The springs were cool and passed a few hours. Then we hit the net and had some expensive thai food before we went to catch the overnight bus to Wellington. (ugh)

At the bus stop – the bus driver was an ignorant prat. The first rude person we’ve met since we got to NZ. We had to sit separately as the bus was packed and it was really uncomfortable and krappy. But it was over soon enough and we arrived in Wellington at about 7am.

(Lisa forgot to mention the sulpher smelt like stink bomb :op)

[We arrived about 12 and a kind man called Bill, who ran the local shuttle company, told us that it had pissed down the night before and we should check to see if our underground caving would be going ahead (sometimes the water gets perilously high and the underground caving is cancelled due to dangerously high water levels because the water is so high and then the caves get flooded and it is perilous to go underground due to the high water levels.. ) Ahahah I jest - I’m sure you get the message!)

So we rang the caving company and were told that it was still going ahead – which is good as there is feck all to do in Otorahanga if you’re not going caving. Woohoo. We slowfooted it to our hostel (we are carrying at least 20 kilos each) and checked in to a very cute hostel (in a type of caravan stylee house – I think we were practically the only guests) and then we hit ‘the town’ for some lunch.

After lunch we were picked up by Bill (the aforementioned shuttle dude – about 60 years old) and chauffered to the Waitomo Caves. We were a bit early though so Bill brought us right up to the door, introduced us to the checkout girl, got our passes for us and then brought us back to the cab and drove us down the road to the Waitomo Caves Museum. He said that it would be closed by the time we would be finished our underground caving adventure (approximately three hours) and that it was defo worth seeing. He also arranged for us to be picked up outside the museum a few minutes before our caving adventure was about to start!! (in the words of a Red Dwarfian – “What A Guy” [ paul Kenny may be the only one who gets that quote apart from jimbob). He really was like our dad. (no offence Dads!)
We were picked up by a young fellow (I hoped our underground guides would be a tad older – how old am I??> in a van who brought us back to the check in desk. We checked in and I whipped out our “FREE MUFFIN” voucher that I had cut out of a magazine – (GRANNY LOOKOUT !! ) We got our free muffins (SCORE!!) and headed out the back with our three (young) guides to don our wetsuits (Jim’s second in two days – does he have a fetish??) he he
We looked spectacular! I doubt anyone there looked as good as us!! – See pics. Tee hee hee.

There was about ten of us in our group and three guides. There was one dad – an English fellow and his son who were a good bit of craic, two French dudes who were quite funny and a couple of couples (one girl was so funny – she got trapped in the seatbelt of the van).

So off we piled in the van in our ridiculous suits and we were brought to the bank of the river.
We were all given a rubber tyre and told to practice sticking our butt into the middle of it. Then we were shown to the river bank. There was a little platform above the river that we were all brought to the edge of one by one, then the small guide showed us how to jump off the platform BACKWARDS with our butts tucked into the inside of the tyre. Holy Moly. He he. I was morto at having to be the first bird off the edge, couple that with the get up that you see in the pics below. He he. Anywho I took a deep breath and launched myself backwards off the platform. The water was F u c k I n F r e e z I n….. he he. It went up my nose and into my mouth and all over my head. ARRrRRGGh. It was aboot 12 degrees I’d say – FRESH! FRESH, EXCITING.. hee hee.

So we all did this one by one, then it was back into the van and off we went to the cave entrance. Once inside the mouth of the cave, we all played a little game of ‘introducing ourselves and our favourite food’ (random & weird) so that our eyes could adjust to the darkness of the caves. Then off we went wading through the caves. The water was freezing and varied from knee deep to chin deep (for me – for Jim it was only chest deep). It was pitch black in the cave except for a) our mini headlamps on our helmets and b) the millions of tiny glowworms that shone bright luminous green on the ceiling of the caves. They were so cool – we turned our headlamps on and off at different stages throughout our cave adventure and followed the luminous glow downstream. It was cool - the whole place lit up only by tiny little larvae. Sweeeeet..

So anywho, we waded through caves that were so low, the roof was only inches from our faces – whereby we had to sit in the tyre and lay right back to fit under them - to really high caves where the roof was nearly 65 metres above our heads. Some times the guides told us to sit in the tyre and float downstream, others we had to wade through the fast-flowing water with the tyre above our heads and then we came to the waterfalls! At the waterfalls, (i.e – where one cave ended and another cave began – except lower down) we were led to the edge of the higher cave, told to turn around, stick our arses through the tyre and leap backwards into the water – as we’d done in our practice run at the river. It was pretty difficult to even get to the edge of the top cave as the water was gushing by our feet so fast and with immense power (no slags please at my descriptive language JAMES). So anyway the first waterfall jump was cool. At the second one, I jumped in and landed in my tyre only to be swiftly bumped back out again. Arrggh.. I’m gonna drownnnnnn – oh ok.. I can stand up here.. he he. But it was still scary.

So at the third and biggest waterfall, we were all a bit nervous. Even more so, when we spotted the English Dad on his way down. He totally ignored all advice to keep in along the edge of the cave and wandered out into the middle of the cave. Immediately the gushing water took him off his feet and catapulted him over the side. All we could see was his goofy boots in the air as he nearly kicked the guide in the face and went headfirst over the edge. It was hilarious… once we found out he was ok! So we were all a bit twitchy going down that one. The underground caving was hella cool. It was dark, freezing and all lit up by tiny green bugs.

James said to remind me to put in how the guys did a quiz on gloworms and because we had visited the cave museum before the caving adventure, we knew all the answers and were real brainiacs!

We were also told that there were eels, rats, and horrible shellfish type stuff in the waterall of which made us even more nervous – well we weren’t nervous at all until we saw all the gross stuff that is in the water in the museum before we went to the caves. Anywho our scary underground adventure was quite hilarious, and well worth it. Our guides were young and friendly and very helpful, even when our legs were too cold to move. After an hour, we were all absolutely freezing – I don’t know how the lads do it everyday – I also have no idea how anyone could stay in there for more than an hour (there are many three and four and even seven hour underground caving trips). Eekazoids.

Towards the end, we all floated out to the exit of the cave and then floated back up the river. At the river platform, all the lads started to jump off the platform doing sumersaults and twists in the air trying to land in their tubes in the water. Jimbob did one first and missed the tube, it was kinda funny. Then on his second go, he did a big whopper of a twist and landed right in the tube. He was hella cool – I was mega pround. GEW ON DEE OIRISH.. hee hee. I didn’t say that outloud – don’t worry.

So then it was back to the van and off with our mega cool suits. Thanks be to jaysus. The yokes were so cold. We all had hot showers and went back to the hut for some hot soup and bagels. EXCEPT – who was waiting for us at reception – only Bill the Shuttle Guy. You see, the last shuttle was at 5.45 pm and there is no bus or any way of getting back to Otorohanga after that time without ordering a taxi which costs nearly 28 bucks. So didn’t Bill only come back and wait for us. What A Guy!!
So we got our soup to take away and got back into ‘Dad’s’ car and were chauffered home again. He also said we were welcome to go into the local club, use his name – i.e. say we were friend’s of Bill’s the great taximan, and avail of his discount on food in the club! Holy Moly! WHAT A GUY!!

Hee hee – we were a bit pooped and decided to get some bread & tuna and head for the hills. We headed back to our hostel – which was empty apart from us - and watched some lethal weapon two on VIDEO. Tee hee.

Jimbob fell asleep on the couch – all the watersports must be taking their toll on him. Lol.
Caving was cool :o)

Hamilton is becoming like a Quito to us – we keep having to go back there between places. So off we went to Hamilton where we spent a couple of hours over a cappuccino in a Starbucks in the comfiest chair I have ever sat in. Jimbob explored the computer whilst I stared out at people going past and read some magazines – it was tres relaxing. Then we hopped on the super dee duper, extra clean, extra fast, extra efficient bus to head to Otorahanga where we had planned to go adventure caving.

The next morning, we breakfasted up ourselves and headed to Raglan. A small, remote (not in summer) surfing village so Jimbob could get his surf on! I decided not to surf. After a ghastly and terrifying surfing experience at a Water Adventure Summer camp in Connaught some years ago,(summer in Connaught – are ye off yer head or what?) I really had no desire to try surfing again. The constant bashing of my head off the board as well as the sea dragging me fifty metres down the beach kinda put me off. So we settled into our room and Jim booked his surfing lesson with the Raglan Surfing School, for the following day. For the rest of the day we just mosied about and had a champion dinner of fish and chips with 2 cokes all for under 10 nzdollars (BETWEEN US) WOW. (It did however cost us another 4 dollars when we absolutely insisted on running to the supermarket to buy some HP sauce).

The next morning, we made our own muesli/fruit breakfast and just lolled around in the sun. Jim was taken off with a few others in the Surfing School van. I decided I would rent a bike and cycle the 6k to the beach and take a few embarrassing pics of Jimbob in his swimsuit. (aka wetsuit). So the cycle was a tad tough for a gal with only one pedal on her bicycle – especially the uphill parts. It was sweatingly funny, howanever I got there just in time to see Jimbob put his wetsuit on backwards. lol tee hee

Then all the hot men in wetsuits took to the beach to perform some onland acrobatics on their surfboards. I took some pictures and laughed my head off. Then they took to the water and it was quite a challenge to get some pictures of them standing up on the boards as the total time any guy got to stay up on the surfboard was about 1.35 seconds. So me and my camera had our work cut out for us. He he. So after a few shots I hopped on the bike (aka walked it up the hill) and one footed it back to base whereupon I awaited my surfing hero Jim’s arrival home. He was chuffed – he had a great time and really enjoyed the surfing. We went out for a stroll in the town (That took all of 2 minutes to explore) and settled for a fish n chip supper amounting to ten NZ Dollars. Woohoo.

Well we arrived in Auckland at about 6am and I rang the hostel to make sure my booking had gone through ok. It hadn’t. Butts Galore. So we booked again, and decided to hang out in the airport until it was time to check in. We had some McDonalds brekkie and I had my first airport shower – free & easy. Warm water & lots of it. Fanfuckingtastic.

Then we got into a shuttle with a very nice & slightly mad Kiwi driver who gave us a mini tour (as they all do I’ve since found out) and some history of the areas we were going through. I, of course, knew it all – for I had the ROUGH GUIDE. He he.

Our hostel was pretty cool, even if the cheapest room had no windows. We dumped our stuff & headed out to strut the streets. We went down to the port, tramped up & down Queen Street (the big shopping street) and headed to the art museum. Then we had a cheapo lunch of tofu & rice and decided to hit Happy Hour. We got the drinks in, piled all our New Zealand brochures, guides, discount coupons & millions of other pamphlets onto the table and started to try make a bit of sense out of it all.
We finally emerged with a semi-plan. We would get a flexipass bus ticket (allows you to buy blocks of hours and use them up on whatever routes you like) and do a bit of the north island, then do the west coast of the south island (the east coast is flooded) and then fly back from Queenstown to Auckland to catch Danny Howells play on the 12th. Then we would have another then days or so to do the northland, lake Taupo & a bit of the Coromandel Range. Easy Peasy lemon Squeezy.

The next day was bloody Anzac day (kinda like veteran’s day) so everywhere was closed. We managed to grab some brekkie in the one open café and decided to do a bit of track work & do some laundry. Later on (about 1pm) things opened for a while and we went to Skycity to watch people jump off the top of the 328m tower. He he. Then we decided to go for lunch (around 2pm) only it took us (for us see James) so long to decide what we wanted to eat (and also it had to fit into the category of under 10 dollars [each not between us that would be a bit too crzy]) that by the time we found somewhere ‘suitable’, it was feckin 5.30pm. Crazy Irish.

Anywho, we hit happy hour again and finished up our much more important decision making. Then we headed to the Internet café to book some bus trips for the next couple of days.

^nice pic!! Hooter Rowlando