Peru

Lima
Up at 6 and off to Cuzco Airport for our flight to Lima, which was eventless and comfortable and quick.  We had yummy eggs on toast for brekkie in the airport so we stashed our ‘inflight snacks’ for later. (Feckin Gringos). We shared a shuttle bus into Miraflores and were able to get a good little free tour of Lima into the bargain. We knocked into the Inka Lodge (35 dollars!!!) and pottered about a bit, then headed out for some lunch and to get Jimbob some new flip flops.
We had some lunch in a lil restaurant in the Larcomar shopping center - it was yum! We had some odd eggs & pepper and bruschetta as well as some burgers and salad. Then as we got up to leave, I pulled my chair out a little too far and it seemed like it may have gotten in the way of some guy behind me. I said ‘oops sorry, very sorry’ and he looked around and said ‘it’s ok’ or something, and when I looked again at him, wasn’t it only feckin Sean Skelly!! I couldn’t believe it – feckin gas! All the way to Peru to meet Seanyboy from down the road. So we had an auld beer with Sean before he went off to the airport. He was on his way home to get his apartment stuff sorted.
So we bid him adieau and headed off on a hunt for a back pack for me and some malaria tablets and some other bits and bobs in the supermarket.
We headed back to the hostel and hung out, showered with a lovely hot hot hot shower!
Ah the small thrills of life on the road – cheetos, clean warm socks, hot showers, Inka Kola & cheap wine. 

Oh My God! I hope never to have to go up stairs again. The journey up ze mountain to Macchu Picchu was about 20,000 steps - all big, all higgledy piggledy and all painful. The first 15 mins wasn’t too bad, (yeah right!) after that it was just horrible!
We left our rooms about 5.15am (what the %*ck!!) and wandered up to the start of the steps in the dark. Then we climbed up about 3 sets of ‘the stairs’ and my head was nearly about to pop off! The Swiss lads were bombing along but it was a ‘smidgeon’ too fast for me, so we sent them on ahead. Trudge Trudge Trudge – how can I emphasise how painful it was!
We got to Macchu Picchu about 6.45am. It was amazing. The view was out of this world! We were so high up! The stonework itself was cool! It’s unbelievable how they built it on top of such a high mountain. Apparently if you look at Macchu Picchu sideways, it looks like an indian’s head! It was hella cool. Then I lost the others and went a hiking up another two million miles up into the blue! Eek! Eventually I copped that I had gone too high and made my way back down again to the exit, where I found ze others at ze bar.
We had lunch and then went for a dip in the stinky brown backpacker waters of the Aguas Calientes Thermal baths.
Then back on the train to Cuzco and back to the Gringos shack for some yummy food, then said goodbye to the lads and headed to the sack!

lol

Got up mucho early today to get the ridiculously overpriced Peru Rail train (officially one of the slowest trains in the world) to Aguas Calientes. Starting off, the train had to go back and forth, back and forth to maneouvre itself onto tracks higher up the mountain. On the way the train also bumped off a cow! boo.

We got there early and checked into a hostel for the bargain price of 25 soles per room. Then we went for a long lingering lunch of salad, beer, sandwiches & wine.

After lunch we went for a little exploration, then probably went out for more food & beer. We met two Canadians who had been to Galapagos Islands, so we asked them a few questions. They said get the trip from Puerto Ayora and don’t sail on the Gabby and the something else...
Off to bed early as we are getting up at 4.30 am to climb the millions of steps up to Macchu Picchu.

Puno – Day 1
Our bus ride to Puno wasn’t too bad. There was more crazy Spanish films on TV and me & Jim were sitting apart. The guy beside me’s breath stank and every time he yawned or let out a big sigh, I had to turn away.. PEEYEW.
Anywho, the weather was lovely and the scenery was fandabbydozey. I started to read a little of Jim’s book – Sideways. (It’s actually written by a guy called Rex - not Jim)
We arrived in Puno about 3pm and went about ignoring everyone at the bus station but to no avail. Some loon trying to promote his hostel, actually jumped in the boot of the car with our bags and kept waving his hostel brochure in our faces. I was trying not to laugh. We decided even after all his effort that we were going to go to our own one anyway. Hostel Europa. It was big and had private bathrooms. It was grand and dandy. We went for lunch & a couple of beers. I had yummy creamy poetaytoe curry soup. Yum. The streets were filled with colourful bands and kids throwing water balloons and spraying shaving foam on each other. This was because it was Carnival time (again – it’s always carnival). We escaped their foamy gringo wrath and went back to our hostel to chill for a while.
Later we went out for some Chinese food and then a few drinks in this rather cool bar with cheesy music. I was knackered despite sitting on my arse all day.

Puno – Day 2
Me & Jim got up early and headed out of the hostel to go to see the Isles Flotantes on Lake Titicaca. Upon meeting us, our hostel owner told us we couldn’t go to the islands, that we would have to make a reservation with him and then we could go at 9 am tomorrow. At this stage we’re used to everyone having their own agenda so we tried to tell him to feck off in Spanish and wandered off. Jim said Goat friend was behind yer man listening to all we were saying. LOL. (Goat friend being this guy with a goaty beard who seems to be everywhere we are – he is one of those gringos intent on immersing himself in the culture and he has a llama hat, jumper & llama socks).
We hopped in a little bicycle type taxi and got an auld lazy lift down to the port, where once again we were hopped on by people selling grapes/water/sweets & tours. We paid some little man at the pier box and jumped onto one of the local’s boats. There was no one else on it! (cue tumbleweed). The Captain said we would hang around and wait until there were ten people on the boat. This is at 7.30am on a cold & bleak morning in low season. He He
But lo and behold along came a tankload of Peruvians, obviously on a daytrip, and off we went on the world’s slowest boat. It was gas. And freezing. The boat started to leak in beside me for a few minutes, until some young fella, with no shoes and a snotty nose, came along and stuck a hose in through the wooden hull. (or whatever part I mean).
We pulled in at the first floating island. These islands are made entirely of reeds. The ground is reeds, the houses are reeds, the boats are reeds, the well you get the picture. It felt really weird walking on the island as everytime a boat sailed closeby, the ripples would hit the island and it felt a bit like being on a bouncing castle. The Uros women of the Island were out selling their wares. I wanted to buy an Uros Jumper but Jim put the spending reigns on again!
Then back into the boat and off to the next island where a Uros woman was cooking fillets of trout and selling them for 6 soles. 2 auld dears bought them and sat down to have a nibble. Jim & I took a few pics of the gaffs, the church, the giant swan shaped lookout point and a duck/bird. The islands themselves are amazing. I dunno if the Uros sleep on the islands really, as the chance of getting arthritis from the damp is quite high. Then on to the 3rd island where we watched some Uros chicks play a lil volleyball.  Then it was back into the leaky boat and we lolled about on the way home as the engine of the boat kept conking out! Tee hee hee. We jumped back on the front seat of a taxi slash cyclist for the short journey home. However Jim didn’t know the way, we were going for ages and the tricycclist was getting a bit puffed out on the way uphill! He He. We jumped off our poor chauffeur and headed back to the hostel where we met the resident hotel promoter/looney/amigo, who informed us that our friends (Priska & Manwell) had booked their bus to Cuzco with him and we should do the same. Apparently he promised them a direct two tier bus with toilet and lots of other great stuff. Yeah Right! The bus took yonkers, it picked up every Tom Dick & Petula on the way. Then the bus had to stop again to let them all get off and pee on the side of the road! Then a smelly woman came on board the bus with a hachet and a big bag of meat & poetaytoes, whereupon she proceeded to hack up some portions of meat, stuff them into a bag with a potatoe, using her grubby hands and pass the much appreciated delicacy’s down the bus to the hungry crowd. Jim was tempted til he felt the meat splatter him on the face. There was also a million krap films on the bus – all really loud and distorted! Thank god for Ipods!
When we arrived in Cuzco, we ditched our bags in the Hostel Rojas (not bad), then went into the local gringo haunt to tucker up with some delicious olives, bread and other yummy stuff! Then off to try have a krappy shower in the hostel, but abandoned the idea due to the lack of hot water.
Beddy Byes.

Colca Canyon
We got a wake up call at about 5.30 – bleugh. We had about a two-hour bus journey to get to Colca Canyon. We stopped a few times along the way – which was a bit silly imo, as if the condors were flying in the morning – we would more than likely miss them.
Anywho, we stopped in a few villages along the way for more pictures. We also stopped at some hillside tombs – caves that the Colca Valley indigenous people had built on the side of the nearby mountains, in order for their dead to be nearer to their god – the Sun. I really wanted more trinkets but unfortunately we had no change – as per usual.*sigh*
So on to the area where the Condors usually hang aboot – Cruc del Condor. We were above some of the clouds and it was very beautiful, but alas there was no sign of any Condors. It is not the season to see them. It is the season for seal lion reproduction and the condors fly to the coast to eat gross alert Sea Lion placentas.
Then someone spotted one miles away and we all rushed over to try to get a glimpse, including this elderly Spanish woman. She was in such a rush that she tripped over a stone and fell and started to roll down the edge of the cliff! Us onlookers on the wall were like “EEK” and “Watch Yourself”. (Obviously in Spanish) There was a young French guy who was near where she was falling and he made a grab for her. I reckon if he hadn’t have been there, she would have been errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuu
SPLAT!!
So after this we spotted the Condor, who was a small white/black speck about 2km below us. I was disappointed as I had been expecting him to at least come over and tussle my hair, but the other lads were pleased to have seen one.. (Weirdos…).. )
Then it was back to Chivoy for some lunch. The guide brought us to a buffet, (SHOCK) but we escaped and went back to the other restaurant, where I had some spaghetti and tomato ketchup. Bleugh..he he
Then off back to Arequipa to Mawm’s place. We went to a pretty posh Italian place for some grub, where some guy soothed our ears with ANOTHER version of El Condor Pasa on the violin. He he. I had some seafood spaghetti, (more spaghetti) which was basically all squid – but the sauce and the spaghetti bit was delicious. 
We’re off to Puno tomorrow – just for a day I think, as we do not have much time. The others are coming with us so it’s all good.  Ciao Ciao

Leeeee

(Pics to come soon)

Arequipa – Day 1
We arrived in Arequipa about 7.30 am after a slightly nauseas (Sp?) early morning bus ride into higher altitudes. (I asked the lovely bus attendant for a sick bag just in case – Well I thought I did, but what I actually said was – “ I am feeling nauseaus, have you a suitcase?”
Tee Hee Hee
We hopped in a taxi and asked the taxi driver to bring us to a certain hostel we had noted from the Bible, but he brought us to the second one in the dodgier area of town (we didn’t know this at the time though). El Caminante del Class Inn 2. The hostel owner was a very small smiley lady who babbled on at us in Spanish. Me & Jim nodded profusely while Manuel & Priska did all the talking. (It’s becoming the norm). She showed us to our quite nice rooms and we set about throwing all our stuff all over the beds and floors.

I then went on a search for a new camera – and we compared a few prices. It’s a Nikon coolpix and it takes very nice pictures.
After a bit of a rest and a brisk cold shower, we went out for some tasty pizza and a few drinks. I had to buy a new memory card for the camera (55 dollars – holy sheet batman).
Then we all hit the sack. (Together) he he

Arequipa – Day 2
Today we headed to Chivoy to ultimately see Colca Canyon and hopefully some Condors.
We were collected at about 8 by our tour guide and the bus driver (Senor Elvis). On our way to Chivoy, we stopped a few times - to take pictures of llamas and alpacas, have cocoa tea, take some pictures of some cute kids in Peruvian attire, wee, chew the coca leaves along with some volcanic ash which acts like a catilizer apparently (pffft!!), buy some trinkets, take pictures of volcano’s, buy some bananas and wee again.

We had a very interesting tour guide though who explained a lot about the area we were driving through and a little bit of history. The bus journey itself was uphill again and I popped some altitude sickness pills, which are great. The only downside being the drowsiness – zzzzzzzzzz!
We arrived in Chivoy for lunch, the lads had Alpaca steak (eek) and Jim & I had some trout. Then we had to get back on the bus (it was ridiculous as our hostel was literally next door) while we were all driven to our hostels (100 metres at the most). Crazy.
We were in Hostel Anita – really cute little rooms all surrounding a gorgeous courtyard. We had a tree stump as our bedside table and we had HOT SHOWERS YAY!

We got our stuff together and we all headed up to the Thermal Springs – outdoor pools of very hot volcanic water – stuffed with minerals. The weather was freezing but the pool was roasting and very clean. We sat in the pool, sipping on pisco sours as cool rain dropped on our heads. It was bliss!

So after arriving in Nasca today I tried my darndest to use the phone and eventually got through to the Killester Kenny’s. woohoo! Then the four of us all went to this Steak Restaurant (yay ) for what can only be described as Carne Carnage (for those of you who know your Spanish)! A tonne of meat was paraded to the table – all kinds of pig, chicken’s throats, blood sausage – and other gross stuff! I was sat at the separate veggie’s table! He He! We drank lots and headed off to bed.

After a night of possibly the worst sleep ever – desert temperatures, no windows in the room, no breeze, Jim fell asleep instantly so was no fun either – I was not in the best mood at the 7.15 wake up call. Then I was still in the shower when the lads knocked on the door and said “Hey the car is here”. Oops.. :/

We bundled into the ‘Hostel Owners’ car (2 people in the front seat) and trundled off down the road to the air.. Em airfield? Then we hopped into the tiny airplane, met our pilot and off we went. The lil plane was bombing along and nearly instantly we could see the first of the very impressive Inca drawn Nasca Lines – The Whale.
The pilot was quite good, he flew over each drawing lurching first to the right so the people on one side could see the lines well, then to the left – although the g force was pushing our heads into our necks somewhat. After a few of these goes I thought I was going to puke everywhere.

The lines themselves are pretty cool; they’re very big and look quite professional (Apart from the astronaut one, which looks a bit like Squidward - I reckon some kids added their own one).
We didn’t get to watch the rest of the badly dubbed video about them so I’m still wondering what they’re about.

Then after a yummy breakfast me and Jim wandered around a bit, checked our mail and decided to go with Priska & Manuel in a taxi to the Inca Cemetery of Chauchilla. We all got out of the car including the Taxi driver and the four of us paid the guy in charge. Then I went to the toilet and when I came back to the group I realized I didn’t have my camera with me. I went back to the taxi to check and then checked the toilet but it was nowhere to be seen. It literally disappeared into thin air. The camera was attached to my wrist and I reckon when the little b*llix in ‘reception’ gave me the ticket into one of my hands, he was secreting my camera into his own! I was so disappointed. All of our Huacachina sand boarding pics were on it and that camera cost me a fortune. We gave up, (I knew the little b*llix must have taken it and I wished I had a remote control alarm installed on my camera beforehand) and wandered around the cemetery. The graves were quite cool, some of the bones & original hair of the Inca’s buried there were intact and the figures had been arranged into sitting positions. Some of the bones were from children and were very tiny. It was interesting to see the original hair and textiles though – nearly 2000 years old. They were well preserved out there in the barren landscape as it rarely rains there.

Then a little wounded from the camera incident, we all got back into the taxi and our very nice taxi man took us to the Cantello Aquaducts. There were lots of mosquitoes though and James and myself took a few hits!

Then the taxi driver brought us to see what was left of a very old small Inca town built into the side of a hill. It was very impressive, the stonework was amazing. No mortar or mud was used in the building of the town foundations, and it has survived earthquakes for 1500 years.

Then we’d had enough, and I needed a drink after the camera incident, so we went back to the meat-eating place. I had salad for a change and we had a few beers before heading to the bus station for our overnight journey to Arequipa. The bus itself was huge, but the lights were off and we all basically had to just go asleep. It wasn’t the comfiest but it wasn’t too bad. A long day.

We said goodbye to the Inka Lodge with our Lonely Planet Rough Guide to South America (Our Bible) in hand and headed for our first taste of the joy that is traveling by bus through Peru. Taxi through the madness of Lima to the bus station where we boarded this lil mini bus thing that brought us to another bus terminal which was much larger with big normal looking buses (to our relief). Destination ICA… On these bus journeys they think it’s a great idea to slap on these badly dubbed action movies. Our first one was this Bollywood action movie with lots of gunfire and bad acting topped off with some crazy dancing and singing here an there for good measure and the odd bit of flesh. The thing is these movies are played as loud as the volume on the bus speaker system will allow. SLEEPING IS NOT AN OPTION!!!!

Finally got to ICA after dark and grabbed a cab to a near by place called Huachachina. We read about it in the Bible. Its an Oasis flanked by Three MASSIVE sand dunes with a Lagoon in the middle. After some messing about by one hostel we (Lisa) rang earlier, we ended up staying in this nice old hostel with mainly Peruvians staying there with a lovely big swimming pool. We had a quick look about the place and went for some food an a drink but as it was dark we couldn’t make out where the sand dunes were or how big they were, until lisa spotted a line running along the skyline.. den den deeeen - it was one of the dunes and it was up so high in the sky!!! We woke up and finally got to see how MASSIVE the dunes where surrounding the Oasis.

The highlight of the trip was going Sand boarding!!!! They take you out over the nearest dunes and into the desert in a massive dune buggy. The crazy driver then drives u straight up these fucking huge dunes and over the edge flying down the otherside trying to nearly topple the fucking buggy. Scary but so much fun. After putting the shits up us he then gets on with the Sand Boarding!! We started off on a what I thought was a big enough dune and gradually by nearly sunset we had progressed onto five more dunes each one getting bigger than the last till we got to the mamma of all dunes.. it was farking massive!!! think thousands of feet here folks. There was a lot of “woohoooo im sand boarding” shouts, followed by lots of “arrgggggg”s as we all fell all over the place like rag dolly anna’s! There was sand EVERYWHERE. Due to the addition of my new beard, my whole face was covered in sand so I looked like a bear!!!! Or as I thought Charlie Sheen circa 1979 Platoon lol After all the falling down and boarding we went to watch the sunset over the desert horizon – very bootyful.

On the way back, as it was just getting dark, the feckin lights on the buggy broke! However, the driver felt he could still navigate his way through the desert and over monsterous dunes back to the oasis…. It was pretty fupping scary flying over huge dunes with near vertical drops whilst not being able to make out what was on the other side! Great fun though!!! We met a Swiss couple doing the boarding and went for drinks with them and decided to get the bus with them the following morning to Nasca.

Slimjimhairyface

Hola Amigos!!!
Oh dios Mio, I’m growing a beard in an effort to look tougher and outdo Kev’s effort a good few months ago. It’s coming along nicely. Lima was our first port of call in South America. We were a lil apprehensive as to how safe it would be etc so after getting out of the melee at the airport an a taxi to the Inka Lodge hostal all in one piece it was alllllllll good. We stayed in Mirafloras, which is a nice well to do area in Lima, not like the main part of the city that looked like a war zone in parts. It took a couple of days walking about the streets, staying in after dark, watching episodes of Law and Order on TV with some Peruvian beer and munching on olives before we could get our bearings and feel up some Peruvians. A very very nice bunch of people! Lima was a bit smelly with lots of lil Daewoo cabs zipping here and there so we decided after two days it was time to Vamous!!